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10 Things Not To Say To Someone Who Have A Chronic Illness
1. at least it's not cancer - sure it's not cancer, but that doesn't make what I'm going through any less of a serious condition and my suffering any less terrible. While cancer is finding cures my chronic illnesses are still incurable and lack research into cures. Even though cancer is an absolutely devastating disease - it shouldn't belittle my illness.
2. have you tried this yet? it worked for someone I know! - while I appreciate your care and concern into finding something that could help in my symptoms and conditions, please just remember that a certain treatment may have helped someone you know, it doesn't mean it can 'cure'' me or help me in any form.
3. at least you're not terminal - this is something I HATE to hear with a chronic illness. I might not be 'terminal' but it feels like I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to get worse or for something else to go wrong. While I'm grateful I'm not terminal, my future is terrifyingly uncertain.
4. it can't be that bad - you have no idea how bad the condition I suffer from really is. It's something that stops me frequently doing everyday activities and will forever effect my life. I don't just suffer physically, living with a chronic illness can have effects on your mental health.
5. aren't you to young to suffer from that? - believe me, I feel too young to be suffering from these conditions. It's as if my life is on hold while I watch my friends go on and do all these things, so really yes. I feel I'm far to young to be able to do so little.
6. what? you're still sick? - Oh boy, this one. Yes I'm still sick. I suffer from a chronic illness which means I won't ever get better. I'll have good days and bad, but I'll always be sick.
7. i wish i could spend days in bed and off school. - I wish I could've gotten through school- gone to lessons, and even passed my exams. But because of chronic illness - I couldn't. I didn't get the grades I was predicted and what I'm fully capable of. If I hadn't been so sick I would have been an A grade student. Do you really wish you could of spent all this time off? It's not fun, believe me.
8. i wish i could spend days in bed and have time off work - I wish I could work full time, I wish I could make a living for myself and not have to rely on people to care for me. I don't want to live this way, I want to be able to work so I can live on my own but that doesn't seem possible any time soon, or at all for that matter.
9. you work?? you must be fine/cured! - just because I work doesn't mean I'm magically cured or fine at all. I often had to force myself out of bed and into work and even then the day is hard to pull through. You hear I work and assume I'm fine, but you do not see the hours, days afterwards. I pay for it with horrific flares, so no. I'm not 'fine' or anywhere near cured.
10. "but you don't look sick!" - the one saying nobody with a chronic illness likes to hear. It's by far the most frustrating thing to be told. People tend to assume because you don't look sick you're fine, but what's going on inside my body is a complete battle. I hide my tired eyes with mountains of make make-up, I hide the high amounts of pain with a smile. But tell me, what does sick actually look like?